I'm a freak bitch baby
Damn it! Now this day is ruined. (No, it isn't, stay positive, Rebbie. Remember it's what you make it.) I was planning on doing the paper round before eleven.. Guess when I woke up? 11.01!! I've got a plan, though. For mornings when I'm supposed to get up and go to school (not the most tempting, huh). If I, as soon as the alarm clock wakes me up, I'm gonna grab my cell and headphones quickly as hell, and put on some noisy song like "Girls just wanna have fun".. Eeew. Especially eeeew now because mom ruined my headphones so I'm using hers now, and her headphones are for some really stupid reason more isolated. Since I always put it on the highest volume possible, I did the same yesterday and two seconds into Dirty Diana all I heard was a really annoying "BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP" and then nothing. For real. Then a few seconds later it all came back. Shit. Never heard anything that loud before.
I believe that's enough for me to get my ass out of my warm, soft, beloved bed.
I thought. Well. It'll probably work. If you get to that stage in the first place. I tried it this morning. You see, I'm so used to turning off the alarm that I do it in my sleep. No matter how high the volume is, or how noisy the song is, I don't wake up. I turn it off while still sleeping. So I tried to put the cell in the other side of the room. I even got up and turned off the alarm while sleeping. So I tried to put it in my bag in another room, wrapped in clothes, and put loads of books over it. Guess what? When I woke up in the morning, I was holding the fucking cell in my hand. Not remembering getting up at all.
So we'll see if it'll work.
By the way.. It's okay to doubt. I've been in one of those loopholes before. When Michael died, it was crazy how sad I was and how much I listened to him. One second didn't pass without me having my headphones plugged in or at least a little in the background if I was having company or something.
I did this for a few months. Like two. Then I almost completely stopped listening to him. Well, I listened to him like each day.. But only for like half an hour or so. I don't believe in god. But since Michael's dead, I like to believe there's at least a life after this, so I always say "Goodmorning, Michael" and "Goodnight, Michael" when I wake up and when I go to bed. Call me a nuthead. Call me stupid. Call me retarded, call me naiv, ignorant, whatever the hell you like. I won't stop. And I didn't when I didn't listen to him. I kept talking to him. I never stopped loving him, he'll always be my idol, always, no matter what. Then a few weeks later, I started listening to him again. All the time. Again, not one second passed without me hearing Michael's voice blasting from somewhere. And that has hold on. And it'll never stop again. I wouldn't be surprised to hear others who have had the same experience/experiencing the loophole right now. It'll come to an end, so don't feel guilty.
One question; is Fredrik Ericsson still reading my blog?
I just gotta tell you about a really weird thing I experienced last night; I was lying in my bed, all lights out, listening to "Blood on the dance floor". I've listened to that song sooooo many times, you have no idea. I know the song perfectly. But last night.. it was beyond knowing every word, every drum beat, the bassline, where the background singers come in and what they sing and in what key, to know exactly where Michael's voice gets a little scratchy and where it doesn't.
It was sooo weird. I can't explain it. I just knew the song like.. on another stage. Haha. Shit, I really sound like a freak, especially with that loophole-text too.
I'm just gonna quit trying to make someone understand because it won't happen.
Have a real nice day / Rebbie
I believe that's enough for me to get my ass out of my warm, soft, beloved bed.
I thought. Well. It'll probably work. If you get to that stage in the first place. I tried it this morning. You see, I'm so used to turning off the alarm that I do it in my sleep. No matter how high the volume is, or how noisy the song is, I don't wake up. I turn it off while still sleeping. So I tried to put the cell in the other side of the room. I even got up and turned off the alarm while sleeping. So I tried to put it in my bag in another room, wrapped in clothes, and put loads of books over it. Guess what? When I woke up in the morning, I was holding the fucking cell in my hand. Not remembering getting up at all.
So we'll see if it'll work.
By the way.. It's okay to doubt. I've been in one of those loopholes before. When Michael died, it was crazy how sad I was and how much I listened to him. One second didn't pass without me having my headphones plugged in or at least a little in the background if I was having company or something.
I did this for a few months. Like two. Then I almost completely stopped listening to him. Well, I listened to him like each day.. But only for like half an hour or so. I don't believe in god. But since Michael's dead, I like to believe there's at least a life after this, so I always say "Goodmorning, Michael" and "Goodnight, Michael" when I wake up and when I go to bed. Call me a nuthead. Call me stupid. Call me retarded, call me naiv, ignorant, whatever the hell you like. I won't stop. And I didn't when I didn't listen to him. I kept talking to him. I never stopped loving him, he'll always be my idol, always, no matter what. Then a few weeks later, I started listening to him again. All the time. Again, not one second passed without me hearing Michael's voice blasting from somewhere. And that has hold on. And it'll never stop again. I wouldn't be surprised to hear others who have had the same experience/experiencing the loophole right now. It'll come to an end, so don't feel guilty.
One question; is Fredrik Ericsson still reading my blog?
I just gotta tell you about a really weird thing I experienced last night; I was lying in my bed, all lights out, listening to "Blood on the dance floor". I've listened to that song sooooo many times, you have no idea. I know the song perfectly. But last night.. it was beyond knowing every word, every drum beat, the bassline, where the background singers come in and what they sing and in what key, to know exactly where Michael's voice gets a little scratchy and where it doesn't.
It was sooo weird. I can't explain it. I just knew the song like.. on another stage. Haha. Shit, I really sound like a freak, especially with that loophole-text too.
I'm just gonna quit trying to make someone understand because it won't happen.
Have a real nice day / Rebbie
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Postat av: Leia ♥
Jag kan hålla med om att det ibland går att uttrycka sig bättre på det språket med vissa ord och meningar!
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